An Invitation To Listen And Enter
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Posted by Russ Peavy
in Intercultural Ministries
This month, my only grandchild is celebrating her first birthday. Because Ella Marie Cole and mommy and daddy live in Sacramento, I’ve had to learn to appreciate the videos of my little beauty (Ella) and the beast (me). I thought I’d forgotten ‘baby-language’, but it all seems to come back when you’re holding that little bundle of love in your arms. Goo-goo, ga-ga, you know how it all goes. Don’t laugh at me because you’re probably worse than I am! The best I could do was my Donald Duck imitation! That seemed to work most of the time, but Ella would give me a strange look, as if to say, “Grandpa, what are you”? You don’t walk like a duck, look like a duck, but you quack like a duck! All I really wanted to do was to enter her little world, and say to my beautiful granddaughter, Tutu (grandpa in fijian) Peavy loves you! Lolo (tagalo) wants to understand what’s going on! That’s all.
Intercultural ministry is a lot like this! We ask others to allow us to enter their world, and they expect us to open our hearts so they can enter our world as well. It’s much easier than it sounds. ‘Open our hearts’, and ‘enter each others worlds’ are terms and expressions than we use quite often. But, what do they mean? January is a time of reflection and healthy introspection. Can I share with you a few things I’ve learned after more than twenty years of cross-cultural-intercultural ministries?
1. How I speak, that is, how ‘loud’ I speak can be a huge obstacle or a warm invitation to enter. In some cultures, the louder you speak the less authority you have. The opposite is also true, that the more authority you have, the softer you speak (turn up your hearing aids!). For sure, our brothers and sisters in Christ understand that we sometimes don’t get it, but sensitivity is important and helps to open the door into another’s world. Toning down our volume can be a means of showing enormous respect.
2. The moments of long pause during conversation are ok. The ‘pregnant’ pause is quite a challenge for those of us who are used to the give and take in conversation. It’s almost as if we’re waiting for the other person to take a breath so we can continue our thoughts and advice. Yet we know how important pausing is in preaching. Pauses are a normal part of the rhythm of life, as well as conversation.
3. Small talk is enormously important. In fact, talking about family, home, children, grandchildren, etc. creates a venue for much deeper and personal conversations. Now, for sure, these observations are not only true for cross-cultural situations, but are true for all of us, in many situations, with many cultural groups.
My little Ella speaks her mind, believe me. Sometimes Grandpa needs to sit back, be still, let her speak (gaga) to me when she’s ready, and then listen very carefully. Behind every sound, there is a meaning. Behind every gesture, she is trying to say something. Like most of you, I do lots of speaking. It’s expected of me. In 2012, I want to listen, really listen. Oh we’ll still speak, preach, teach, and counsel. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if our congregations would say, “ you know my Pastor, he/she is a great speaker, but what I like about him/her the most, they listen to me, and they seem to understand.
All to the Glory of God!
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Russ:
You wrote a great article this month. I feel that I know you better than before I read it. God bless you in your ministry to so many different people groups.
By Robert E. Palmer on February 03, 2012